This year has brought so much misery and I for one can’t wait to see the back of it.
It started with the most awful news about a very special little girl who has spent the whole year fighting and kicking the crap out of Cancer. Her fight is ongoing. She is my HERO.
We sold our beautiful home to keep our family together due to a new role in my husbands work which took him away all week which became unbearable for all involved and although I don’t regret this decision it came with a lot of worry about our daughter settling into her new life.
As adults we often take making new friends for granted as it can often be in a situation we can easily leave should we feel uncomfortable. Children however have not yet developed the skills to dodge tricky situations and they have to meet new people when they start school where legally they have to be!! Bonds are commonly formed during the first few weeks of school in Reception year as my daughter did so well when she started school. To leave that comfort zone and join midway through the second year of school was really difficult as friendship bonds were already cemented and my beautiful, sensitive soul is not the type of character to rock any of those friendship boats. She has since found some lovely little friends which was the biggest relief. As her parent I hold joint responsibility with her Daddy for all situations she has to navigate through and the guilt I have carried over the last year feels like I have doubled in size…which I also have…damn you comfort eating!!!
I define a rubbish year when we have more downs than ups. I am of course eternally grateful for my children’s health. That said there are only so many bumps in the road one can handle and this year has been like one long camel ride.
My son had an operation, my baby has developed a condition where she turns blue and the Dr found a lump during an examination I had. They say it comes in three’s well that’s just three of the rotter’s we have had this year. I have been reassured that my lump is not cancerous which of course brings huge relief. My Son is 100% again and my gorgeous baby girl is still loving life she just looks slightly like a smurf at times. Her condition is benign and will hopefully never progress but that’s my job to monitor her time in smurf mode.
This year I have had my integrity placed into question, I have witnessed unbelievable hypocrisy and I had to watch my poor sleep deprived husband take on his degree which I couldn’t help him with as it may as well have been in a foreign language to match my level of understanding. I have made the very wise decision to care less about what people think. I have made peace with the fact that one person’s negativity has absolutely no relevance on mine and my loved one’s lives. You cannot please the world, nor should you have to and nor do you need to.
Our car blew up a few days before Christmas which made us homebound for the entire Christmas break. We have a little second car with four seats which for a family of five hasn’t been very useful for making visits but we are thankful we have the mini beast otherwise I wouldn’t have been able to go on a Turkey hunt or grab those last-minute Christmas bits that I kept forgetting. Our Christmas was actually perfect that is one of the ups of our year which has now turned into anxiety and sadness as we count down the days until my husband, my best friend and my everything all rolled into one head’s off with work until July. He will have short breaks back home after a few months away at a time which gives us something to look forward to but for now we dread the day we wave him off at the end of the week. It really is a rotten end to an awful year.
I’m going to get ahead of myself and say roll on 2020…I’m not wishing life away I’m looking into the future where we will be heading back to Disney World which I plan on spending every minute of 2019 planning.
I wish every one a fantastic 2019. I hope all your hopes, dreams and wishes come true.
Mum of Three God Help Me