Dear Feminists You’re Confusing Me…

Ladies let me say first of all, I am absolutely thrilled with the shift of power women now hold. Over time women have won the right to use their voice and be deemed as equal in so many vital situations, such as laws created against domestic violence…how that was ever OK is anyone’s guess. But dare I speak out and say some of the extreme passion for female independence has left some of us ladies utterly confused.

I have a beautiful little boy who we teach all the manners and chivalrous acts that we feel are important for him to grow up and become a loving respectful man. The other day I witnessed a lady responding to a man who held a door open for her telling him she was perfectly capable of getting the door for herself. He looked embarrassed, I looked shocked and my poor son looked confused.

Surely acts like this are abusing the kind nature of other humans regardless of gender. I fear my Son will reach an age and will have all the respect we have shown him rattled out of him. Surely this behaviour cancels out all the hard work put in by both female and male supporters who believed women deserved to be shown more respect.

My husband is an old fashioned soul, he states ladies first each time our daughters or myself are due to exit anywhere with him…and of course then our little Prince will lead before him, he will pass on his coat if I have forgotten mine (this happens a lot), he isn’t afraid of house work, he never left my side during all three labours and births of our beautiful children and this is a very, very brief description of my husbands wonderful nature. I LOVE this behaviour, this is why I said HELL YES when he asked me to Marry him.

I hope and pray that our Son turns out like his Dad, as I know that he will make a pretty awesome human.

I hear a lot of single statements made by individual feminists…definitely not representative of each feminist as a whole, but I hear certain statements that shock me and are usually the complete opposite views of my own and I fear men will think that all women think that extreme.

Bold statements I have read in various media reports include “women don’t need men”, “Men are the weaker sex”, “lets see how you like being wolf whistled at in your office…” to name a few.

I do need my man, he helped me make our beautiful babies. There is no weaker sex in my household, and if I wolf whistled at my husband he would have two choices to either take it as a compliment or use HIS voice to express his discomfort with my actions. Which is the same voice I have thanks to years of hard work, blood, sweat and tears shed by women in previous generations fighting for women to feel present on the planet, not just a shadow.

I hope the unnecessary male bashing gets abolished as I feel it goes against the fight for RESPECT.

There will always be those opposed to the movement and these people will hopefully always remain in minority side lines, or with hope will see the light of equality and live as one with one another; until then please do not pigeon hole all males. I have two absolute blinders in my house and its awful to see them confused in situations where good manners are being confused with being condescending.

Bigger picture, it really in most cases is just someone holding the door open in kindness.


7 Comments Add yours

  1. Love this post Jenny. The bottomline as you expressed should be respect and kindness, not who is the weaker or stronger sex. It is nice for women to be independent, but it is also nice for men to be chivalrous towards them. Holding a door open for a woman does not mean she can’t do it herself… thanks for joining us on the #itsok linky

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Tracey Carr says:

    I couldn’t agree with you more, I think there are a lot of blurred lines now when it comes to feminism. You can still be a strong, independent woman and allow a man to show respect or chivalry to you, it does not make you less of a feminist. And that phrase really irritates me too – ‘women don’t need men’. They may not ‘need’ them but some women actually ‘want’ them. Again it doesn’t make you less of a feminist. Great article! #itsok

    Liked by 1 person

  3. endardoo says:

    Well said!! Enough said! #BlogCrush

    Liked by 1 person

  4. I completely agree with you. It’s confusing for boys and for girls. It shouldn’t be a continual competition! Thanks for linking up to the #itsok linky.

    Liked by 1 person

  5. Absolutely, as you say holding the door is a kindness and basic manners, I do it for each person behind me in a shop, as does my husband regardless of gender. I think it can be confusing, even as parents, to try and convey what and why these issues sometimes arise. Great post xxx

    Liked by 1 person

  6. crummymummy1 says:

    I have 2 girls & 1 boy so totally get this – it actually worries me a lot! #itsok

    Liked by 1 person

  7. Daydreamer mum says:

    I am absolutely a feminist ! Would I be offended by a man showing basic good manners ?Definitely not , in fact I find good manners one of the most attractive personalty traits in a man. The kind of feminist I am is merely striving for equality not trying to stamp over men. It’s a shame really because this way and some feminists being very extreme in their views does leave the rest of us with a ‘man hating’ label
    Congratulations someone loved this postt so much they added it to our #blogcrush linky !!

    Liked by 1 person

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